Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

We’re almost there!  Can you believe it?  What a wild ride 2020 has been.

Along the way, I have cried tears of frustration, sadness, anger, and overwhelm.  Perhaps you can relate?

The stress of parenting, homeschooling/virtual learning, working, partnering, self-care, and managing the collective grief and fear brought on by the pandemic, the election, the racial issues and highlighted inequality, the state of the world, social media’s influence, etc., etc. has brought many of us to our knees at times.

There has also been some real beauty.  A slowing-down.  Time for connection.  Opportunities for reflection.

And the force of human creativity and ingenuity has been on full display as many businesses (including mine!) figured out how to survive, and scientists got to work creating a vaccine to protect us.

What a year.

As we come to the end and get ready for what will hopefully be a better year, I am struck that it is a perfect time to take stock of what we’re creating—for ourselves, our families, our children.  It will take some time (we’re definitely not out of the woods yet), but life will return to “normal.”

The real question is: do we want it to?

There are some things about this pandemic that have brought about positive change.  What will we do individually and collectively to keep it?

What do we want to do to build and create a normal that works better for us and better for our children?

I’m not a big fan of “resolutions” for a number of reasons but I do believe in taking stock and creating a vision for ourselves and our lives.  This is one of the most powerful things I do with my clients and inside The Heartful Parent Academy: we need to know what we’re building in order to figure out how to get there.

It’s so easy to say “I want X” or “I want Y”, but really evaluating how we feel about the various areas of our lives is an important—and oft-missed—step.  Have you ever done a whole life audit?

And if so (or even if not), what have you done with that information?

To get started you can use this download to evaluate the various areas of your life or use it as a template to create your own.  Maybe you have additional things you’d like to assess—personal growth, home/environment, spirituality, education, or community contributions. Or maybe this one is enough.  You get to decide.

Be honest with yourselves.  Be clear.  But know that this is your audit.  No one else gets to decide how you’re doing in a particular area.  The assessment and what to do with it are yours alone.  What someone else views as success may not be the same as what you view as success; leave room for that. And know that a score of 10 does not mean perfection (news flash: there’s no such thing as perfect, particularly in parenting!)—it means you feel, based on YOUR standards, that you are thriving in that area.

Where are you thriving and where are you merely surviving?

Once you’ve answered that question, consider what comes next.

Ask yourself: What is standing in the way of a score of 10? What do you want to focus on in 2021? What do you want more of in your life? What do you want less of?  And what are several concrete steps you could take to move closer to your ideal?  What support do you need to move towards thriving?

After the year we’ve had, may find that we’re not quite where we want to be.  That is okay.

The question is what are you going to do about it?

I don’t have all the answers.  I struggle too.  But I do know that we don’t have to manage it alone.

If 2020 has taught me anything, it is how very much we need one another.  We were simply not designed to do it all, let alone in isolation, while putting out fire after figurative fire.

This shit is hard.  How can you make it easier?

I’m here to support you.

And in the meantime, I invite you to celebrate yourself.  You made it.  We’re almost there.  You are a survivor.  And this year, let that be enough.